What’s a Death Doula?
The End of Life Doula Association of Canada says:
“An End of Life Doula is someone who supports a person faced with an illness or terminal diagnosis. The End of Life Doula can educate, advocate for, and empower clients by starting the conversation about death and embracing the dying process early. By aligning the clients needs with their expectations and wishes, the End of Life Doula can significantly improve the quality and dignity of the end of life journey.”
What does being a Death Doula mean to me?
In our Canadian culture, there is a gap in support systems around death care. We spend so much time trying to live well that we forget to spend time paying attention to how we die well. The role of Death Doula is a calling to me. It means that I have the honour of helping the people who live in my community to die well, or as I have begun to understand, to have a death that is fitting to them.
A few ways that I can companion you:
Advanced Care Planning - Prior to a life limiting diagnosis, providing assistance and organization with , planning or having productive conversations when death is imminent
Support - This can take many forms from as simple as tidying/refreshing a hospital room to assisting in challenging conversations, finding resources for specific needs, or providing clarity and consistent support through what may be a chaotic time
Advocacy - Contracted by the dying person or their family / friends, my focus is advocacy for the dying person. My commitment is advocacy for care that is aligned with the dying person's vision for their fitting death. I am able to talk with family/friends, health care professionals, funeral homes, and religious leaders to ensure that the dying person is represented and heard.
Companionship - This may be as simple as social visits, time together in quiet, with music, small talk, sharing stories, and memories, or as serious as discussing legacy, death, or what comes after. I am comfortable with discussions both light and heavy; and I am happy to meet you where you are.
Ritual Planning - I see ritual as an important part of being human and I can assist in planning something personal and fitting. That may take the form of a vigil for friends and family sharing humorous stories with the dying person, planning a funeral or celebration of life, planning a living funeral, or helping plan a memorial camping trip.
Vigils - Holding vigil is the process of being present during the transition from life to death. I can assist with enacting vigils.
I am accepting clients from all walks of life and spiritual beliefs. I can support people in planning for death, after receiving a life limiting diagnosis, or in their journey looking at the MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying) program. I can also support people with their grief before or after a friend or family member passes, from miscarriages/still births, or due to the death of a pet.
Videos showing the work of a Death Doula
